Erotic dreams: What do they mean?

You've spent the whole day on the go: working, doing house chores, pending errands, and finally it's time to go to bed. You fall down exhausted going over everything you have to do the next day and... Suddenly you are in the middle of an adult movie in which you are the main character . But how is that possible, what does it mean? Well, that's what we're going to talk about today.

Either because you enjoy them, or because they worry you, erotic dreams are a much more common experience than one might think . However, for many it is still an unknown terrain, although we can tell you that their meaning varies greatly depending on psychological, emotional and physiological factors. And although it is not the most exact science in the world, we can analyze why they happen and what they can reveal about our mind.

Why do we have erotic dreams?

Everyone, at some point in their lives, will have erotic dreams (with more or less frequency). But, what are they for? Well, they may be related to different factors. Brain activity during REM sleep is closely linked to emotional regulation and the processing of recent experiences (Revonsuo, 2000). What does this mean? Well, in this context, erotic dreams are often just a manifestation of desire, stress or even unconscious memories that we have had during the day or recently.

On top of this, nocturnal physiological arousal also plays a key role. This arousal is common in both men and women and causes involuntary sexual responses during REM sleep. So, erotic dreams may be a result of this arousal or they may be something that appears in addition to it . Which comes first: the chicken or the egg? Dreams may be a product of our mind without a deep symbolic meaning. But they may also be giving us inside information about our true desires. Let's decode it.

Psychological interpretations of erotic dreams

Surely you have heard that psychoanalysis is dedicated to interpreting dreams. In part this is because from psychoanalytic theory, Freud (1900) suggested that dreams reflect repressed desires. Therefore, an erotic dream could be a symbolic expression of unconscious fantasies that need not necessarily be sexual, but also emotional or psychological. That is to say, our erotic dreams go beyond what we want or do not want in bed .

Moreover, the most modern currents of cognitive psychology interpret erotic dreams as a way of processing emotions and daily experiences . According to Domhoff (2003), dreams reflect patterns of thought and recent experiences, which could explain why we dream of intimate encounters with familiar or even unfamiliar people. Have you ever had a dream about a co-worker? It's more normal than it seems!

Erotic dream types and their meaning

Dreaming of an ex

Has it happened to you? Relax, because it is one of the most common erotic dreams and does not always imply that you want to go back to him/her. In many cases, what it reflects is a need to close a cycle or the presence of memories still active in our subconscious, you know, inertia. So, ask yourself: do I miss my ex-partner or is it that we failed to close the last chapter?

Erotic dreams with strangers

For many people, this type of dream is not as disturbing as the previous one, but others are puzzled by the fact that a completely anonymous person appears in their fantasies while they sleep. And is that dreaming about someone we do not really know may refer to our desire to live an adventure , explore or even to seek new experiences in our life as a couple.

Infidelity dreams

Just like the first one, dreaming that you cheat on your partner is usually associated with a lot of questions and the feeling of guilt for believing that we have a repressed desire to cheat on our partner. Sure, this may be true in a small percentage of cases, but most of the time it is related to insecurities, fear of betrayal or the need for more passion in the current relationship. It's like a warning that things could be going better.

Erotic dreams and their link to real sexual life

Despite what one might first think, erotic dreams are not always indicative of sexual dissatisfaction. Studies, such as the one by Schredl and Hofmann (2003), have shown that both sexually active and inactive people experience erotic dreams with similar frequency.

As we have already seen, these dreams may reflect unconscious desires, but, although it is more mystical and interesting to believe otherwise, many of these dreams are just part of the natural process of sleep and memory. Nothing else.

Do I have to worry about my erotic dreams?

No. Erotic dreams are normal and an indicator that your mind is functioning properly. However, if the things you are dreaming about become a source of distress or discomfort or interfere with you or your partner's happiness, it may be advisable to explore their meaning with a professional. Make no mistake, therapy is not about understanding the meaning of the dream, but about analyzing and addressing the impact of these dreams on your life to better understand them and see if there is anything you can do about them.

Conclusion

We want you to keep the following sentence and repeat it to yourself whenever you have a dream that disturbs you: erotic dreams are a natural phenomenon and, in most cases, reflect normal subconscious processes. So, far from being a cause for concern, they are offering you the possibility to know and understand better your emotions, desires and worries . The ultimate key is to understand them and be able to enjoy them as much as possible. After all, dreams are dreams.

Sources

• Domhoff, G. W. (2003). The scientific study of dreams: Neural networks, cognitive development, and content analysis.American Psychological Association.  https://doi.org/10.1037/10463-000

• Freud, S. (1900). The Interpretation of Dreams. Macmillan.
  
  

• Revonsuo, A. (2000). The reinterpretation of dreams: An evolutionary hypothesis of the function of dreaming. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 23(6), 877–901; 904–1018; 1083–1121.  https://doi.org/10.1017/S0140525X00004015

• Schredl, M., & Hofmann, F. (2003). Dreaming and sexual activity: A gender difference. Journal of Sex Research, 40 (1), 61-68. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003300373