Burnout and decreased sexual desire, why does it happen?

If you have not yet heard the concept of burnout syndrome , it is because you knew it as the “burned-out worker syndrome”, but what is universal for everyone is that it is an increasingly common phenomenon in our society. We talk about its consequences in the workplace: increased stress in the workspace, symptoms of irritability, decreased patience or even feelings of frustration. So you can imagine that this syndrome is the enemy of the office.

But its effects not only have repercussions in the professional sphere, but also have a direct impact on general health and intimate relationships. So we've set out to bring to the table everything you need to know about burnout in this article and why it's important to combat it for a happier and more fulfilling sex (and overall) life.

Let's start with the definition: burnout syndrome is a response to chronic work stress, characterized by physical and mental exhaustion, depersonalization and a perception of low personal effectiveness. As we mentioned, this condition is not only expressed in the work area, but can also trigger physical and emotional consequences. It is a cumulative burnout that affects overall well-being and can range from digestive problems to sleep disorders.

When a person feels constantly burned out, his or her mood is compromised, often resulting in irritability, apathy and a reduced ability to enjoy activities that normally bring enjoyment. And because the body and mind are so connected, if a person suffers from this syndrome for a long time, he or she may suffer a lowering of defenses.

Yes, research has shown that burnout syndrome weakens the immune system , making people more susceptible to infections and chronic diseases. Prolonged stress causes a constant release of cortisol, (the stress hormone) which suppresses the immune response. This situation not only affects physical health, but also generates a vicious cycle of discomfort and fatigue that negatively influences the energy needed to maintain a healthy intimate life, among other areas.

An immune system that is affected by this state also influences the perception of general well-being. Something that is “born” at work can lead to exhaustion and hinder satisfactory relationships in the intimate sphere. In this context, feeling burned out becomes an obstacle to both health and personal enjoyment. But we will talk about this in detail in the next point.

Sexual health encompasses physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality. And although many people continue to treat their intimate life as something secondary, sexuality is a fundamental pillar of our health and requires that we pay attention and care to it so that, among many other things, we can enjoy satisfying and safe experiences. However, as we have already mentioned, burnout syndrome can seriously disrupt this balance.

When you feel burned out , your mental and physical energy is almost entirely consumed in coping with that stress, leaving little room for sexual desire. And although many believe that it only affects the frequency of intimate relationships, it also affects the quality of encounters . Some people may experience lack of interest, difficulty in reaching arousal or orgasm, and even pain during intimate relations due to the accumulated tension.

The prolonged stress associated with burnout alters hormone production, and our libido depends on these hormones. For example, high levels of cortisol can inhibit the production of sex hormones such as testosterone, essential in both men and women to maintain sexual desire. Therefore, hormonal imbalance becomes an obstacle to the enjoyment of intimacy¹.

In addition, increased cortisol and decreased oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone,” negatively affect emotional connection as a couple , which can exacerbate communication problems and relationship dissatisfaction². So could relationship problems have to do with how burned out you are at work? Watch for the next point.

Although burnout syndrome mainly affects the person who suffers from it, its effects are also felt by the people around him or her , especially in relationships. Among the main consequences, we have to highlight the emotional and physical disconnection, combined with a depressed mood, which leads to conflicts, misunderstandings and greater distance in the relationship.

In fact, it should be noted that the discomfort associated with burnout can cause communication about your sexual needs and desires to deteriorate. Many couples avoid talking about it out of embarrassment or fear of aggravating the conflict, which often, paradoxically, worsens the situation. Silence leads to a cycle of dissatisfaction and resentment that damages the relationship in all aspects³.

In this context, it is essential that both parties maintain or develop special empathy in order to be able to work out solutions together. For many couples, it is key to understand that burnout is a temporary and reversible state and not a reflection of personal disinterest or lack of love. This makes it easier to rebuild trust and connection if they have been affected⁴.

Chronic stress derived from burnout can also manifest itself in sexual dysfunctions, and in the case of men, the list is not exactly short. Lack of desire is just one of the possible consequences , but problems can also arise such as:

• Erectile dysfunction : prolonged stress can lead to vascular and neurological and even psychological changes.

• Lack of ejaculatory control: either due to an increase in sensitivity to stress and loss of control of ejaculatory reflexes in the case of premature ejaculation ; or due to a decrease in sexual arousal and emotional disconnection in the case of delayed ejaculation.

• Anorgasmia: in some cases, there is an intense psychological disconnection between the couple that also influences the decrease in sensitivity in the genital area.

Anxiety and pressure related to burnout result in a vicious circle : fear of “failure” during sex increases stress, which in turn hinders the enjoyment of intimacy. This reinforces disconnection and further reduces the desire to seek and have sexual encounters⁵.

It may not be easy, but it's not impossible. We want you to keep in mind that overcoming the impact of burnout on sexual health requires commitment from both of you, as well as strategies to reduce relationship stress and self-esteem. What can you do?

The first step is to address the underlying stress. You can try therapies or techniques such as mindfulness, yoga or meditation, useful for reducing emotional discomfort . But not only this is necessary, it is also essential to take care of rest, nutrition and physical activity to improve energy and overall well-being.

Dedicate time to non-sexual activities that strengthen the relationship, such as spending time together, practicing shared hobbies or simply talking without distractions, that is, spending quality time helps to rebuild emotional intimacy. Once this connection is re-established, it is easier to regain physical intimacy.

If sexual dysfunctions persist, it is time to consider seeing a sexologist or couples therapist to help you identify and overcome the barriers you have encountered. This professional approach will allow you to work on both the physical and psychological levels to improve sexual and overall satisfaction of the couple.

You may never have seen yourself in the situation we have described in the article, but having preventive tools is essential so that your romantic relationship is not compromised at any time. To prevent the consequences of burnout on sexual health we have to know how to recognize the warning signs before stress becomes chronic.

Therefore, it is important to set healthy boundaries at work, practice relaxation techniques and seek support when necessary. Also, in the sentimental sphere, always maintain clear and honest communication with your partner about emotional and physical needs to detect problems early, preventing work stress from becoming a barrier to intimate well-being.

Burnout and its impact on sexual health are issues that deserve more attention than they currently receive, as it not only affects the person who suffers from it, but also their relationships and quality of life. Let's learn to recognize the symptoms and seek solutions to regain balance and fully enjoy intimacy. Because a full sex life is a quality life.

1. Chrousos G. P. (2009). Stress and disorders of the stress system. Nature reviews. Endocrinology, 5(7), 374–381.  https://doi.org/10.1038/nrendo.2009.106  

2. Heinrichs, M., Baumgartner, T., Kirschbaum, C., & Ehlert, U. (2003). Social support and oxytocin interact to suppress cortisol and subjective responses to psychosocial stress. Biological psychiatry, 54(12), 1389–1398.  https://doi.org/10.1016/s0006-3223(03)00465-7  

3. Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World psychiatry : official journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), 15(2), 103–111.  https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311  

4. Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310–357.  https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310

McEwen B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. The New England journal of medicine, 338(3), 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJM199801153380307