The importance of foreplay for a deeper connection

Foreplay, also known as preliminaries, is a fundamental part of intimate encounters, although it is often overlooked . In fact, the simple fact that it is called foreplay or preliminaries implies that it precedes something, when for many couples, the practices and games associated with foreplay are more satisfying than what comes after.

Understanding the role of these dynamics and practices that often happen before penetration is often very helpful in understanding how sexual satisfaction works for the couple. That's why, in this article, we will explore why foreplay is more important than it seems and how it influences arousal and sexual response. We'll also discuss which strategies are best for boosting it.

Why is foreplay important in sexual intercourse?

Foreplay is not only the phase of getting ready for the sexual encounter, but it is, in itself, part of the sexual intercourse , which implies that the games, postures and practices that take place at this moment produce satisfaction and influence the well-being of both partners. Just to give you an idea, arousal is a progressive process, so all the games, the tension that builds up and the communication that takes place in this phase helps to activate the physiological mechanisms that facilitate pleasure and relaxation in both partners . Not to mention that it also has the powerful psychological effect of setting the mood and making you feel your best.

From a strictly biological perspective, foreplay is responsible for allowing better lubrication in women and greater erectile response in men , which reduces discomfort and pain during penetration (Levin & van Berlo, 2004). In addition, the physical contact established during this stage stimulates the release of oxytocin, the famous hormone related to attachment and pleasure, which helps strengthen bonding and prepares the body and mind for a good time.

All the benefits of foreplay on satisfaction

Boost arousal and desire

Let's bust a myth: sexual desire does not always arise spontaneously . In many cases, it needs to be... stimulated. In fact, this is something that differentiates us quite a bit from each other, with some being more proactive and others more reactive. Okay, maybe you don't understand it that way, but if I tell you that some of us are more proactive and others like to be warmed up ... You understand better, don't you?

For the second type of person, it is often necessary to generate an excitement that increases progressively through caresses, kisses or sensual words that activate the erogenous zones. Just so you can see we're not making this up: according to a study by Wise, Frangos and Komisaruk (2017), prior stimulation not only improves the intensity of orgasms but also prolongs the sensation of pleasure .

Strengthen the connection
 

We all seek physical pleasure when we go to bed, but beyond the “carnal” aspect, foreplay also allows us to strengthen the emotional bond with our partner. Intimacy is more than a physical act; it is a shared experience in which communication and trust are the main characters. We are not exaggerating: a study published in the Journal of Sex Research indicates that couples who spend more time on foreplay score higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships (Frederick et al., 2016).

So, if you were one of those who didn't give space and importance to foreplay, here you have another excuse to start doing it. But, do you struggle with it? Don't worry we are going to dedicate ourselves to giving you tips in this post . So grab a pen and paper.

Strategies to enhance foreplay

Explore erogenous areas

Everyone is different. And each person has areas of the body that are especially sensitive to certain stimulation. We all know the well-known ones, such as the neck, ears, inner thighs and, of course, genitals. But just because those are the most famous doesn't mean they are the most pleasurable for you or your partner . So, take the time to explore and discover which types of caresses give you the most pleasure, which parts you find most pleasurable and which are your partner's forbidden zones.

Taboo-free communication

It is always a good time to remind you that talking about desires, fantasies and limits is essential for both of you to feel comfortable and connected. Expressing what we like and listening to the other person (without judgment) is also part of erotic foreplay and makes it much more pleasurable and satisfying.

Create the right atmosphere

The setting plays a big role in arousal. Sometimes, it’s the little details that make all the difference —like dim lighting, sensual music, and pleasant scents that enhance the experience . According to sensory conditioning theory, certain stimuli can be linked to pleasure, so if you carefully curate the atmosphere for your night of passion, you’ll increase your partner’s receptivity to both the build-up and the afterglow…

How long should foreplay last?

As you might expect, there’s no set time, as it varies from couple to couple and from one encounter to another. However, science does offer some insight: a study by Lindgren et al. (2008) found that in the most satisfied couples, foreplay typically lasts between 15 and 25 minutes .

That doesn’t mean you have to stick to this timeframe rigidly, but if you’re feeling a bit unsure, this gives you a general idea of how long mutual stimulation can last. Not only does foreplay enhance the overall experience, but it also increases the likelihood of reaching orgasm.

Conclusion

Foreplay isn’t just a warm-up for "real sex"—it’s an essential part of the experience. Its benefits go beyond arousal, strengthening the emotional connection between partners. And as we’ve seen, science backs this up! So, it’s time to incorporate practices that promote mutual pleasure and open communication, taking your sex life and your partner’s to a whole new level.

Sources

• Frederick, D. A., Lever, J., Gillespie, B. J., & Garcia, J. R. (2016). What keeps passion alive? Sexual satisfaction is associated with sexual communication, mood setting, sexual variety, oral sex, orgasm, and sex frequency in a national U.S. study. Journal of Sex Research, 54(2), 186-201. doi: 10.1080/00224499.2015.1137854
  
  

• Wise, N. J., Frangos, E., & Komisaruk, B. R. (2017). Brain Activity Unique to Orgasm in Women: An fMRI Analysis. The journal of sexual medicine, 14(11), 1380–1391. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsxm.2017.08.014
  
  

• Levin, R. J., & van Berlo, W. (2004). Sexual arousal and orgasm in subjects who experience forced or non-consensual sexual stimulation -- a review. Journal of clinical forensic medicine, 11(2), 82–88.  https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcfm.2003.10.008  
  
  

• Lindgren, K. P., Parkhill, M. R., George, W. H., & Hendershot, C. S. (2008). GENDER DIFFERENCES IN PERCEPTIONS OF SEXUAL INTENT: A QUALITATIVE REVIEW AND INTEGRATION. Psychology of women quarterly, 32(4), 423–439.  https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-6402.2008.00456.x