Blue Monday: Tips to rekindle passion on the saddest day of the year

The third Monday of January is known as Blue Monday , often considered the saddest day of the year. The term originated in a 2005 ad campaign and is based on a formula that takes into account factors like cold weather, post-holiday debt, and a lack of motivation to tackle New Year’s resolutions that can feel overwhelming or out of reach.

Although this concept isn’t scientifically supported, it does reflect common feelings many of us experience during this time. But what if I told you that you could turn this day into an opportunity to reignite passion and strengthen your connection with your partner? If there’s one thing that lifts our spirits, it’s sharing a meaningful moment with our loved one. So here’s how you can do it. Take note!

Why does Blue Monday affect your mood and intimate life?

Blue Monday combines several factors that can take a toll on our emotions, mental health, and overall well-being. During winter, the lack of sunlight lowers serotonin levels—a key neurotransmitter for maintaining a positive mood—while increasing melatonin, which can make us feel sleepy and unmotivated (Wehr et al., 1987). Naturally, feeling more tired and down affects our ability to connect with others, especially with our partner on a deeper, more intimate level.

On top of this, holiday expenses and the pressure to achieve New Year’s resolutions can leave us stressed and chip away at our confidence. This stress often spills into our relationships, creating tension that can affect intimacy and satisfaction. It’s not unusual for desire or motivation to wane during stressful times, but the good news is that this doesn’t have to be permanent. That’s why I’m sharing tips to help you turn things around on this day.

How to turn blue monday into a day of emotional connection

Practice emotional communication

One of the most effective ways to counteract the sadness of Blue Monday and keep your relationship strong is to focus on communication. Yes, you’ve probably heard this advice a thousand times before—but that’s because it works. According to relationship psychology studies, expressing emotions and actively listening to your partner strengthens intimacy and satisfaction in the relationship (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

Take a moment to share your feelings with your partner and ask them about theirs. Just make sure the conversation is free of judgment or interruptions; otherwise, it could have the opposite effect.

You can make this practice even more meaningful with small, thoughtful gestures like maintaining eye contact or holding hands. Why? Because these actions release oxytocin—the “love hormone”—which boosts your mood and strengthens emotional bonds. A little extra connection can go a long way, so give it a try !

Rediscover shared gratitude

Gratitude is a surprisingly powerful (and often underrated) tool. Simply saying “thank you” can make a big difference. But can gratitude really help spark passion in your relationship? According to research by Algoe et al. (2010), expressing appreciation for your partner and the things they do strengthens your connection and fosters positive feelings.

To put this into practice, sit down together and create a list of things you’re both grateful for, whether it’s about your relationship or life in general. This simple exercise not only helps combat negativity but also shifts your focus to what brings you closer as a couple.

Reconnecting through physical intimacy

Plan a moment for mindful intimacy

On days like Blue Monday, it’s easy to get stuck in routine or shy away from intimacy due to exhaustion or low energy. But setting aside intentional time to be present with each other can make all the difference. The practice of mindful sex —or being fully aware during intimacy—has been shown to reduce stress and deepen emotional connection (Brotto et al., 2012).

Turn off distractions like phones and TVs, and focus on enjoying each sensation, from touches to kisses. The goal isn’t just to reach orgasm but to savor the process and rediscover mutual pleasure. Patience and respect for each other’s boundaries are key. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable exploring and enjoying the moment together.

The power of physical touch

Physical touch, even outside of a sexual context, is an incredibly powerful emotional regulator. Simple gestures like hugs, massages, or cuddling can significantly lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone (Field, 2010). Take a few minutes to give your partner a massage or plan a relaxing bath together with candles and massage oils . These small rituals can turn an ordinary, uninspiring day into a moment of deep connection.

Keeping passion alive beyond Blue Monday

While Blue Monday might feel like just another challenge in an already tough January, it’s actually a perfect opportunity to reflect on how you care for your relationship every day. Passion doesn’t simply appear— it requires consistent attention and effort . A great way to keep the spark alive year-round is to incorporate self-care practices, both individually and as a couple.

Create weekly connection rituals

One of the best ways to maintain a strong relationship is by establishing weekly rituals that encourage connection. This could be as simple as a romantic dinner every Friday night or setting aside an hour each week to discuss your goals, dreams, or even daily challenges. These intentional moments not only bring you closer but also create a strong foundation for tackling life together as a team.

Don’t underestimate self-care

Finally, remember that to connect deeply with your partner, you first need to take care of yourself. Exercise, meditate, or simply set aside time to do something you’re passionate about. These practices will improve your mood and give you the energy to bring positivity into your relationship.

Conclusion: Blue Monday as an opportunity for growth

Although Blue Monday is often associated with sadness, it can be reframed as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship and rekindle passion. Through open communication, gratitude, and mindful intimacy, you can push past the emotional slump and turn this day into a chance to connect more deeply with your partner. Remember, taking care of yourself and your relationship not only enhances your bond but also improves your overall quality of life. You’ll find that Monday might not feel so blue after all.

References

1. Algoe, S. B., Gable, S. L., & Maisel, N. C. (2010). It's the little things: Everyday gratitude as a booster shot for romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 17(2), 217–233. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01273.x

2. Brotto, L. A., Basson, R., & Luria, M. (2008). A mindfulness-based group psychoeducational intervention targeting sexual arousal disorder in women. The journal of sexual medicine, 5(7), 1646–1659. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2008.00850.x

3. Field, T. (2010). Touch for socioemotional and physical well-being: A review. Developmental Review, 30(4), 367–383. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2011.01.001

4. Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.

5. Wehr, T. A., Moul, D. E., Barbato, G., Giesen, H. A., Seidel, J. A., Barker, C., & Bender, C. (1993). Conservation of photoperiod-responsive mechanisms in humans. The American journal of physiology, 265(4 Pt 2), R846–R857. https://doi.org/10.1152/ajpregu.1993.265.4.R846