What does my past have to do with premature ejaculation?

Before we dive into this article, there’s something important you should know: premature ejaculation is more common than you might think. It affects many men at some point in their lives. For some, it happens occasionally, while for others it’s more of a temporary thing. But (almost) everyone experiences it at some stage.

While it's often linked to immediate causes, like health issues or current stress, we tend to overlook how our past can play a role. Things like your learning experiences, past sexual encounters, and cultural beliefs can all gradually contribute to the development of premature ejaculation.

So, does that mean there's no solution? Absolutely not! In this article, we'll explore how certain factors from your past can influence premature ejaculation, and what steps you can take to regain control over it.

but also a key tool for living a full and healthy sexual life. But if they’re so beneficial, why don’t most men use them?

What influences premature ejaculation?

Various factors can influence premature ejaculation, ranging from physical to psychological aspects . However, in this case, we will focus on the psychological and emotional factors related to the past, which are often overlooked. And while they may seem few, they are key to understanding our current situation:

• Sexual learning history

• Moral beliefs and feelings of guilt

• Lack of adequate sexual education

• Anxiety and lack of knowledge about the body and sex

These aspects not only affect how a person experiences their sexuality but also their sexual response, including ejaculatory control. Let's break them down one by one.

Past Personal Factors

1. Sexual Learning History

From a young age, we begin forming beliefs about sexuality based on our experiences, what we observe, and what we’re taught. For instance, if a man grows up in an environment where sex is viewed as shameful or taboo, he might learn to rush through sexual encounters or feel that sexuality is something to be hidden or hurried, which can lead to issues with controlling ejaculation.

Moreover, if his early sexual experiences were uncomfortable, filled with insecurity and anxiety, or took place in settings that lacked privacy or intimacy, his body may have learned to respond quickly, almost as a “flight” response to discomfort. This kind of “body memory” can stick with him, making control more difficult later in life.

2. Beliefs and Guilt

In many cultures, including Western ones, sexuality has been shaped by strict moral norms, often leading to feelings of guilt or shame . If you grew up in an environment where sex was considered dirty or sinful, it might have created an internal conflict that still affects you today. Guilt around sexual desire or masturbation, for instance, can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, like rushing through sex, which reinforces the lack of ejaculatory control.

3. Lack of Sexual Education

A lack of proper sexual education is one of the biggest contributors to sexual issues in adulthood. Without a clear understanding of how the body works, the stages of arousal, and sexual responses, many men grow up confused about what's normal or expected of them. This confusion often leads to anxiety, which directly impacts ejaculatory control.

Men who haven’t received any sexual education, especially about how arousal works during sex, often feel like they have no control over their bodies, which can result in premature ejaculation. Inadequate sexual education also tends to foster unrealistic expectations about sexual performance.

Why Am I Ejaculating Faster Now Than Before?

You might be wondering why you're now experiencing premature ejaculation if you never had issues in the past. The effects of past experiences don’t always show up immediately; sometimes they’re triggered by changes in your current circumstances . Here are the three main reasons why this could be happening:

1. Stress and Anxiety : It’s no surprise that adult life comes with responsibilities and worries we didn’t have as teenagers, and stress or anxiety can make the problem worse. If there was already a tendency for early ejaculation in the past, current stress can amplify it.

2. Relationship Issues : Struggles with understanding our emotions or communicating with a partner can lead to premature ejaculation. If there are problems with trust, self-esteem, or fear of failure, it’s common for ejaculatory control to suffer.

3. Previous Conditioning : If you learned to rush through sexual experiences early on, that habit may have stuck and is now showing up, especially in situations where there’s more pressure or higher expectations.

When Is It Considered Premature Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is diagnosed when a man ejaculates with very little sexual stimulation, either before or shortly after penetration (usually within less than a minute), and sooner than he or his partner would like. It’s considered a problem when it happens frequently and impacts emotional well-being or the quality of sexual relationships.

There are two main types of premature ejaculation:

• Primary : This has been an issue since the man’s first sexual experiences.

• Secondary : This develops later in life, even after previously having normal sexual experiences.

In both cases, past experiences may have contributed to or worsened the problem.

How To Control Premature Ejaculation?

At this point, I want to remind you that while you're responsible for making changes and trying different methods, feelings of guilt, frustration, or failure won’t help. To regain control over ejaculation, it's important to focus on both the present and any unresolved issues from the past that might still be impacting you. Here’s how you can approach it:

1. Sex therapy : A specialized therapist can help you identify past factors that are contributing to the problem and guide you in developing new strategies for better ejaculatory control.

2. Self-awareness exercises : Practices like body scanning, which help you identify your pelvic floor muscles, are often useful for improving physical control.

3. Anxiety reduction : Relaxation techniques and certain types of meditation can help lower anxiety levels, which can contribute to premature ejaculation.

4. Proper sexual education : If a lack of knowledge is something you’ve identified, you can always learn more about how sexual arousal, orgasm, and techniques to prolong and enhance pleasure work.

Conclusion

At this point, you should have a better understanding that premature ejaculation isn’t just a present-day issue; it’s often tied to past factors that still affect your sexual life today. Things like an outdated sexual learning history, limiting moral beliefs, feelings of guilt, and a lack of sexual education are some of the factors that might have contributed to the problem.

To improve your sexual well-being and boost your sexual confidence, it's important to recognize these influences and work on addressing them—whether through therapy or specific techniques to improve ejaculatory control. Remember, being open about the issue and seeking solutions is the first step toward overcoming premature ejaculation and enjoying a healthy, fulfilling sex life.