Young couple kissing in bed and orgasming together

How to Orgasm together: Climaxing at the same time

Written by: Anel Martínez

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Time to read 3 min


Climaxing at the same time is paramount, no one would doubt that. At least no one who has ever tasted the leveraged pleasure of sharing an orgasm. Nevertheless, a dual climax is never a must. It is alright if it does not happen, and there is no need to obsess with it. There’s a small chance that two people climax at the same time. This is mainly because everyone has a different body, with different pleasure points and ways of feeling sexual satisfaction.


Another reason why orgasm is not synchronized is because each person experiences the sexual response in a very individual way. The sexual response is made up by a four-phase cycle that consists of excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. While this is true for men or people with penis, it’s not the same for women or people with vulva, since the cycle is a little more complex. This is why reaching orgasm together can be a challenge, particularly for heterosexual couples.


Sexologists tend to say that it is about complicity rather than a deliberated target.

It is common knowledge that intercourse is much more than just thinking about orgasms, but we often forget about it. In fact, it is inconvenient to have that as the only goal. However, it obviously is one of the real blessings among the human race’s sensations, which also have actual benefits that go far beyond just that feeling of having an orgasm. Let alone climaxing at the same time. How to travel this road towards true pleasure is something you are about to learn.


Simultaneous orgasms


Simultaneous orgasms are not the goal of sexual encounters. Experiencing, feeling, communicating, intimacy are much better goals for sexual satisfaction. If you focus your sexuality to these goals, you will get to enrich your sexual life. In order to attain these goals, the first thing to know is that the key to mutual pleasure is to have an open mind, leaving aside the idea that we will be the protagonists of a porn movie.


If we set aside this idea that orgasm should be reached at the same time, we could acknowledge there are other ways of experiencing intimacy with our partner or partners. Sexual encounters should be seen as a time to get to know each other better without rushing anything, and considering your sex partner as the priority. Under this assumption, you should be able to follow each other’s time and needs, thoughts, and feelings to connect with what the other person needs to get aroused every second.


Truth to be told, perhaps shared orgasms can be reached easier by same biological sex couples. Considering that anatomy, preferences, and knowledge of their bodies are supposed to be common, they shall be better attuned. In spite of that, in the end, it is just about clever communication and open-minded poses for both men and women.

Where and how to stimulate


If there is one envied advantage of women above men, it is the wide range of erogenous zones that their body offers. Though, this is a gateway to those who learn how to play with that, benefiting the girl but also improving the quality of the experience for both, until climaxing at the same time.


Nipples, breasts, clitoris, vagina, neck, ears, feet, the navel, even armpits and everything you can imagine and discover, are body parts where the skin is more sensitive and responsive to sexual stimulation. All these are pleasant resources to exploit when trying to equal somebody’s pace. Once again, it is crucial to observe, listen, and attend to every reaction, which will lead the way to climax.

Thinking out of the box


Stimulation can come along with intercourse. While having sex, both men and women can add reasons and manners to increase sexual feelings. Nonetheless, intercourse is not the only way for climaxing at the same time. This can also be reached when touching or by simultaneous oral sex games. Actually, being able to find new paths broadens the variety of games available for getting pleasure.


If you are open to new options, these games will help you and your partner to innovate: 

  1.  Dry humping/grinding : this practice consists of rubbing, petting, and caressing each other with or without clothes. Some like to rub themselves on a partner’s leg.

  2.  Engage in a sexy massage: touching your partner’s body could be very erotic and sensual. Try to play with hand pressure, movements, and speed. 

  3.  Lick all the way: try liking your partner's body and focus mainly on the ears, nipples, perineum, thighs, neck, and other erotic places. 

  4.  Try the Kunyaza: this practice consists of moving the penis rhythmically and firmly striking the clitoral glans. Move the penis from the top to the bottom of the vulva, then left to right, and then in a zigzagging motion. Remember to always return to strike the clitoris after each rotation.

Climaxing at the same time, is it possible?


In conclusion, climaxing at the same time is another result of synchronizing the way each other feels until the trigger point is reached for both. Achieving an orgasm together can be a rewarding experience, but that doesn’t mean it’s necessary for a fulfilling sexual experience.


As with every other sexual topic addressed by MYHIXEL, it can be, not only improved, but also enhanced with the proper solutions, like MYHIXEL Control. In fact, this can also lead you to an unforgettable, multi-orgasmic stage.

Anel Martínez

Author: Anel Martínez  (Sexual Coach at MYHIXEL)

Sexologist specializing in sex therapy and sex education, mental health and human behavior.