The art of slow pleasure: Why summer is ideal for unhurried enjoyment?

By now, I'm sure you've seen firsthand how your body (and your desire) changes with the seasons. If you feel less inclined to date and have intimate encounters in winter than you do in spring, that's completely natural. But what happens with the arrival of summer? Well, once again, our way of living and enjoying our bodies changes. The days become longer, routines become more relaxed and meeting times are filled with new possibilities. In this context, more and more people are interested in exploring slow pleasure, a sexual philosophy that invites us to enjoy in a slower and more conscious way.

As a psychologist and sexologist, I think it is essential that we bring this trend to the table in times when we are more and more used to overstimulation and immediacy (yes, in sex too). So, it is not just a ‘fad’, but a way of living sexuality with more connection, full attention and genuine enjoyment. And summer, because of its characteristics, is the ideal time to start experimenting with slow pleasure. Have I convinced you? Let's get down to business.

What is slow pleasure?

Slow pleasure is a way of seeing and experiencing sexuality that focuses on slowness, presence and full attention. It is mainly a response to the idea of sexual encounters characterised by haste and focused solely on reaching orgasm as quickly as possible. And if I say ‘resurgence’ it is because nothing new has been invented, although it is true that slow pleasure proposes a very different perspective from the current one: enjoying the body, the sensations and the connection with the other person in every moment, without goals or rushing.

This concept is in line with other trends such as slow sex, tantra or conscious sexuality. And no, it is no coincidence, since according to several recent studies, the practice of mindfulness in sexuality tends to increase sexual satisfaction and intimacy in couples (Brotto et al., 2007).

Why is summer ideal for slow pleasure?

As I mentioned in the introduction, summer is a season that is naturally conducive to slow pleasure. But there is not just one reason; there are several reasons for this:

Firstly, rhythms change. Holidays, more flexible schedules and leisure spaces allow us to devote more time to ourselves and our relationships. It is easier to find time to enjoy ourselves without looking at the clock.

Secondly, the body takes on a different role. We wear fewer clothes, we are more exposed to the sun, the breeze, the water... Our senses are awakened. And this greater connection with the senses is key to slow pleasure, which is based precisely on paying attention to the body and its reactions.

Finally, summer is a time when people tend to open up more emotionally. Many people feel more relaxed, more available for contact and erotic play. It is therefore a perfect time to explore new forms of intimacy.

Benefits of slow pleasure on sexual well-being

If you thought that practising slow pleasure is just another way to enrich sexual experiences, you are wrong. Because this sexual philosophy, so to speak, has been shown to have benefits for emotional and physical well-being as well.

For example, research by Leavitt et al. (2019) showed that mindful attention to pleasure during sex is associated with higher levels of sexual satisfaction and lower performance anxiety.

From my clinical experience, I have also observed that men who adopt this philosophy experience:

• Greater connection with their bodies and desires.

• A richer and more diverse experience of pleasure, beyond the goal of orgasm.

• Better communication with their partners.

• Reduced pressure to ‘perform’ or meet certain sexual stereotypes.

In short, slow pleasure helps to have a more balanced sexuality, free from rushing and with much less rigid expectations.

The 5 steps to get started in slow pleasure this summer

If you feel like exploring slow pleasure this summer, here are the 5 keys to start and enjoy the process from start to finish:

1. Create the right context : take time to prepare the atmosphere: soft light, pleasant aromas, soft music... Anything that helps you disconnect from the stress of everyday life and connect with the present moment.

2. Take the rush out of the equation: don't focus on getting anywhere because encounters are not a goal to be reached. Enjoy foreplay, caressing, kissing.... Pleasure is not only in the climax, but in every step.

3. Pay attention to sensations: explore with all your senses: touch, smell, taste, hearing, sight. The more attention you pay to the here and now, the more fun and intense the encounter will be.

4. Communicate and share: talk to your partner. Explain and share with them this new philosophy and that you want to enjoy yourself without rushing and also listen to their desires. Complicity and consent is essential.

5. Integrate toys and accompanying products: there are products ( massage oils , vibrators, rings ) that can help enrich the slow experience. The important thing is to use them as allies of conscious pleasure, not as a way to speed up the pace.

Slow pleasure and sexual self-knowledge

Slow pleasure is also a great opportunity for self-knowledge. By paying more attention to your own sensations, it is easier to discover what you like, what turns you on, what relaxes you... It is a process of exploration that strengthens your relationship with your own body.

In addition, for men with sexual anxiety or stress-related erection problems, the slow pleasure philosophy is especially beneficial. By reducing the pressure to perform, it facilitates a more relaxed and pleasurable experience of sex.

In short: a perfect summer for slow pleasure

If you are looking for a way to make your sexuality explosive and gentle at the same time this summer, I encourage you to explore slow pleasure. You don't need to be an expert or have any knowledge of tantra to get started: just dedicate time, attention and presence to each experience.

Summer is a great time to get started. So why not take advantage of these months to discover a more conscious and connected form of pleasure? As always, the key is to listen to yourself, respect yourself and enjoy the process.

References

• Brotto, L. A., & Heiman, J. R. (2007). Mindfulness in sex therapy: Applications for women with sexual difficulties following gynecologic cancer. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 22(1), 3–11.  https://doi.org/10.1080/14681990601153298  

• Leavitt, C. E., Lefkowitz, E. S., & Waterman, E. A. (2019). The role of sexual mindfulness in sexual wellbeing, Relational wellbeing, and self-esteem. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 45(6), 497–509.  https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2019.1572680